Hangups, Hiccups and Honeymoons: When The Stardust Falls From Our Eyes

As I was putting the bottom sheet on my daughter's crib mattress this evening, I admired the pretty purple and pink flowers set against the cream background. I tucked it in nice and snug and smiled as I reflected back to before she ever slept on those sheets. Before she arrived. I remember looking at the crib then, all set up and girlishly adorable, ready to receive my perfect, beautiful baby girl. My husband and I would gaze at the lovely crib set, sigh and say, "Our little girl is going to sleep here!" Swoon! 

I certainly didn't stand there and say, "Oh my God... she's going to fight naps so hard that I'm going to throw myself on the floor and bawl piteously." Likewise, I did not muse, "She's not going to sleep through the night until she's 8 months old." or "She's going to have night terrors that break our hearts." We pictured a perfect baby, slumbering sweetly on cute sheets next to the somewhat matching teddy bear that was destined to be her favorite. Well, she prefers the little stuffed squirrel to the bear and those sheets have seen copious amounts of spit up, varying degrees of poopy, a little sprinkling of tinkling and most recently, a whole hell of a lot of snot. 

We get ideas in our heads and they sparkle. Marriage, for instance. Ladies- how many of you envisioned your days after "I do" to be as shimmering as that gorgeous diamond you coveted so much? The days are not always dazzling, am-I-riiight!? We embark on cognitive honeymoons and it's not always pretty when the truth of life sets in. 

The imagination is a fantastic thing, but it can often lead us to pastures we thought were going to be a lot greener. This morning, the associate pastor was opening her sermon and in a slip up, she said "idolatry" instead of "ideology". Now, shortly thereafter, my cherub started squawking so I courteously toted her out into the Narthex so uh, I basically missed the entire message. (Yeah, I'm that mom who drags her toddler to the pew instead of going to the nursery but hey- she loves the choir and she never fails to make someone smile). 

Anyway, the two isolated incidents got me thinking. The sheets, and what they represented before the reality of motherhood and the notion of idolatry. Typically when you think of idolatry all sorts of golden calves or celebrities spring to mind. Now, I'm not bowing before Tim McGraw (tempting as that may be) and a simple fitted sheet is not exactly a graven image but don't we sometimes get swept up in something material or even just the idea of something and give it more power than we ought to? Then what happens when we experience a violation of our expectations?

Can you think of anything in your life that has the same pull? How much does it truly weigh, and what really matters?

What is real?

God love 'em, the Robertsons boil it down to Faith, Family and Ducks. What's on your list and how do you keep it on the top? Ducks might not be on your list (oddly enough, they are on my daughter's) but hopefully FAITH and family are. It's okay to be a huge fan of something or someone but remember who you should be the biggest fan of. And it's okay to have dreams and be optimistic, but don't let your kingdom crumble when your visions don't align with reality. 

Sometimes a violation of our expectations is a good thing. It reminds us that God is at the helm and as usual (like it or not at the time) He knows best. Sometimes, a silly little squirrel is better than a fancy bear anyway. 

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, the will walk and not be faint.

 ~ Isaiah 40:28-31

Sticks and Stones

A conversation sprung up this weekend. It's one you've probably heard before, even though the subject is one of two you're never supposed to bring up (religion and politics). Guess which one it was?

At any rate, one of the more vocal points was, "I don't like organized religion..." There was more to the stance, but we don't need to go into that. Another sentiment was regarding how people of one sect of Christianity treat people of a different sect of Christianity. Seemed a bit silly to me. I wanted to open my mouth and say, "Hey baby, I'm Lutheran. We're pretty chill. We love everybody." I kept that quip under my hat. I did voice, "That's not how it's supposed to be." And I shook my head thinking about it and feeling sorry for the people who put others down because they're not of one particular branch of Christianity. I'm all about a joke here and there, but to honestly and intentionally make someone feel awful because of their faith? There's something wrong with that. 

Aren't we all in this together? Don't we all serve one God (now and forever amen?) Don't we all believe that Jesus was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, was crucified died and was buried? And that He did it for us? So... what's the problem? I literally scratched my head just now. 

Love thy neighbor as thyself. Thy Baptist neighbor (gasp!), thy Presbyterian neighbor, thy Catholic neighbor... and guess what? Even your non-Christian neighbor. No one is saying you've gotta wash their feet with your hair but you certainly don't have to throw stones for their perceived transgression of choosing the wrong denomination. Or no denomination. I've never exactly been a "turn the other cheek" kinda gal, though I've been doing more than my fair share of it in recent years- but there's definitely something wrong with going on the offensive or shunning someone for no valid reason. (And someone not genuflecting when they pray isn't what I'd call a valid reason for turning up your nose). 

People dole out tons of reasons for us to get scrappy. You've gotta pick your battles or sooner or later, you're gonna burn out. Try your hand at acceptance. Within reason, of course. If someone is setting puppies on fire, maybe don't be so cool with that. If someone simply comes to God through a different door than you- or they never made it out of the parking lot- that's no reason to label them a leper. 

Regarding the organized religion bit, one point I did make most earnestly, is that sometimes, you get the greatest worship and greatest fellowship when you're not sitting in a pew. So having ill feelings toward organized religion is hardly cause to count the good out. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my church. I absolutely adore our pastor- he's hands down the coolest man of the cloth you'll ever meet. But God's voice is not limited to brick and stone alone. It is a pity that the organized part of religion has run so many people off. Be not afraid! So you're suspicious of the Bible because it "has too many authors", so you don't jive with being a member of a church because you don't agree with who is at the helm... all that matters is you come to Jesus with love in your heart and do your best to live as rightly as you can. 

Spit out the bad taste in your mouth and fill your cup back up with something GOOD. And hey, lighten up on everybody unless you've got a damn good reason not to. 

For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them. ~ Matthew 18:20

Touchstones of Grace

Today, I wish to share some grace with you. This grace comes from a source very dear to my heart. It is in the form of sprawling blue ink in a familiar, jagged hand. Words penned on a piece of paper and tucked into a sturdy old bible. This was my grandfather's bible, given to him as a gift in memory of his father. It passed to me sometime after his death. 

He placed the paper in Psalms. What a lovely part of the Bible to park a bookmark. I came across it one day when I needed it most- as God has a beautiful way of doing. 

Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side. 
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain. 
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
in every change, the faithful will remain. 
Be still my soul, thy best thy heavenly friend. 
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end. 

My grandfather, Lothar, likely scribbled this down when he heard it during service (as we are apt to do sometimes). It touched a chord with him and he was inspired to record it for future moments of need. A spiritual touchstone, if you will. He tucked it away in his bible to have it handy. Did he ever think his granddaughter would discover it nearly 50 years later and find grace in it? Generally, I'd be inclined to say probably not, but knowing him, perhaps so. 

We pick up little pieces of grace as we go along. Sometimes, we remember to tuck them away for later use- sometimes we forget where we placed them. It's a beautiful mystery. Almost a symphonic waltz, the way God whispers to us. How He finds new ways to deliver His grace to us. And what a gift in this case especially. 15 years ago today, my grandfather passed away. While he was lucid, I was too young to appreciate any of his counsel. What a blessing to be reached by him long after his passing. He left behind many writings, but I find the most comfort in his bible and the bookmarks within. It was my grandfather who gave me my very first bible. A little white New Testament on Christmas Eve in 1992. On the inside cover he wrote, "You have many toys. A toy this is not." 



Ask the Lord to open the eyes of your heart today, to accept the beautiful grace He has crafted just for you. 

Oh Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! Who hast set they glory above the heavens. ~Psalm 8:1

Step Into My Parlor, Said the Spider to the Fly

What do you do when you are confronted with sins or temptations? Do you even recognize them when you see them? Wasn't original sin spawned in a beautiful garden? A place of paradise? How easy is it for you to dismiss the wrong in your life or mind simply because of cultural norms?

What's your apple? Does temptation haunt your door? And what is a sin by your determination? Is it limited solely to physical actions and speech or is a sin of the heart or mind equally as unconscionable? 

We are forgiven. How often does that lend a sensation of having a "free pass"? 

It's so easy for us to get swept up into temptation, no matter how small the transgression seems to be. A judgmental leer, a mean spirited quip, an impure thought, choosing dishonesty, giving in to a double sided tongue. We fall. And we do it a lot. 

Pray and stay the course. 

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. ~ Romans 12:2

You've Changed, Sunday.

On the 7th day, He rested. 

And we used to as well. Or at least, that's what was expected. From a biblical standpoint, that 7th day is Saturday but we Christians do our honoring on Sunday. From the 'for what it's worth department', here's an interesting take on why. 

Many of you can remember the days when stores were actually closed on Sundays. God rested and in the old days, His people did too. Way back in the day people weren't even supposed to do housework on a Sunday. Sunday was meant for worship, fellowship and reflection. In this day and age, largely and for the most part, Sunday is usually just a day to sleep in or a day off from work (although many folks do attend church!) However, anyone can see, Sunday has changed. 

St. Paul's Episcopal- Richmond, VA

Instead of the cup running over, our modern society has watered down Sunday. Don't get me wrong- it's super convenient being able to run out to Target on a Sunday if I suddenly realize we've run out of something but looking back on what Sunday used to be and what Sunday has become is a little sad. 

Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy. Do you feel there has been a shift? How holy do we keep it and what is enough?

In our home in the fall you're probably more likely to hear Fox's NFL theme and the blowing of whistles than scripture quoted aloud. I certainly don't think there's a seat in hell reserved for us because of that but I get the feeling from now on there might be a little more Jesus to go with our Baltimore Ravens. Growing up, the tradition in my family has it that burgers are to be served on Sunday... but in my youth I don't recall thanks being given for the expertly prepared beef on a bun. In reflection on what Sunday was and what Sunday should look a little more like, I want to set a better tone for my family. A happy medium between "not darning a single sock, reading the bible, going to church"- and the "just another day off" mentality. 

We race through our days. Life is hectic. Life is crazy. It's hard to catch a breath between work, social obligations and maintaining yourself and your home. To reference the linked article, God didn't create a day of rest for Himself- it was created for His people. Shouldn't we take that gift and do more with it? Take five and do a quick devotional. Say an extra prayer. Make sure your family sits down together for a proper meal. Go to church. Have fellowship with family and friends. Reflect on your relationship with Jesus. I'm not saying sit in a darkened room with your nose in the Old Testament from sun up to sunset. I'm just saying slow down and recapture the essence of what the Lord's day is supposed to be. You don't have to go bananas- simply taking the time to read this post and cultivate your own meditation is already a great way. 

Society is never going to turn back the clock on Sunday. We've entered into an entirely new era. You can revive Sunday in your own life though, and pattern it a little closer to what God intended. 

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us REJOICE and be glad in it. ~ Psalm 118:24

Water Into Wine? No Problem. Come'n Right Up.

You ever say to yourself, "Hey, where are all the really cool miracles these days?" I'm talking demon be gone, walk on water, the blind can see kinda stuff. Can I get a ticket to THAT show? Jesus did some pretty astounding things and it really made people snap to and pay attention to his presence here on earth. So in this day and age, sometimes you might wonder where the flash, bang, razzle dazzle jump for joy hallelujah kind of miracles are. It crossed my mind a time or two. Then, I got my answer.

There was this 17 year old boy. Easy going, friendly, fun to be around and, a Christian. One December day while at school, he was rehearsing with some classmates when he suddenly lost all function of the left side of his body. He slumped against the chalkboard and slid helplessly down the wall. As he lay there on the floor, looking up in terror, he realized he was completely paralyzed on the left side of his body.

He was rushed to the hospital where it was determined that he suffered an arteriovenous malformation. The layman's explanation- a weak group of blood vessels had ruptured in his brain. The initial pronunciation from an ER doctor was that his case was hopeless and that the young man's family should come to say their final farewells.

Acceptance of this prognosis was simply not an option. Thankfully, a second opinion revealed that surgery would be required, but he'd have to be moved to a more capable facility.

He was taken to renowned CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia). The risk involved in surgery was considerable, but there were no other options. After two surgeries to repair the damage to his brain, the young man pulled through. Initially, doctors believed he would never walk again. Even after the surgery was deemed a success, it was unclear if he would function properly. He still could not move the left side of his body.

On Christmas Eve night, one week after his surgery, the young man finally moved one finger on his left hand. It was a strange, unbelievable triumph. It took months of intensive physical therapy but with a lot of excruciating work, the young man was able to walk- even run again. The only permanent hindrance to his mobility was a dropped ankle which caused a mild limp. 

This young man's mother was what you might call a prayer warrior. Clearly, it was not an easy time for the family and as you well know, even those who have admirable faith can be tested beyond the breaking point. She prayed. She had others pray. She prayed some more. Not long after the young man recovered, she took him along with her to church. The congregation had been praying for him the entire time, and now, he returned to worship. They all knew his story and rejoiced in his being there. He wore a bandanna to cover the scar that traced from one side of his skull to the other, but there he was, sitting in church, where folks had been praying for him. After the service, a man approached him. This man had come through his own serious battles and was now a professing Christian. He looked at the young man and said, "You're a miracle." All due glory was settled upon the Lord. Yes, Jesus still performs miracles. It wasn't as swift as "I tell you, get up, pick up your mat, and go home." ~ Mark 2:11 but still, the young man in essence got up and went home. 

12 years later, that young man is a vital member of the community he grew up in, a God loving Christian, an amazing father to his little girl and devoted husband to his blogging wife. 

Miracles do still happen. Every day. Super preemies that beat the odds and not only pull through, but thrive. Cancer going into remission. Being saved from peril at the last second. Life created in a womb once thought barren. Coming to the Lord when all faith was thought lost. Miracles are more prevalent than we realize, but praise His name- they abound. 

"Peace, peace to those far and near," says the Lord. "And I will heal them." ~ Isaiah 57:19

When I Walk, Let Me Walk Close to Thee...

As I stare at the wooden cane resting atop the quilt on my bed, I consider how funny it is that the post that comes to spirit this morning is one about your walk with Jesus. For my purposes, this cane is an aide in my time of need with torn muscles about my knee. It feels a bit preposterous, a vital, lifelong athletic gal such as myself relying on an instrument of the elderly merely to get about. However, I know that if I allow my arrogance to rule me, I'll hobble along without the cane and inevitably, the rips in my muscle will worsen. My ambulatory prowess will weaken and my recovery time will be prolonged.  

That's a bit like one's walk with the Lord, don't you think? When we get it in our heads that we walk, heck, run just fine without Him it doesn't take long before we're resoundingly reminded that we can't get around on our own. We need Him. He is not a crutch, solely relied upon only when the chips are down. He is a constant and we are stronger through Him and our acknowledgement of all that He does in our lives. 

Your walk with the Lord is a beautiful story. One that should be shared with the world. When did you come to Him? How has your walk evolved over the years? As it deepens and flourishes it's important to remember that in our times of great strength as in our times of pitiful weakness- we must honor His part in our walk. 


1 Peter 1:6-7~ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith- of greater worth than gold, which persists even though refined by fire- may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 

Wish I Had a Storm Warning

Do you remember the first time you heard the story about Jesus in the boat? How the storm raged all around the disciples and they cried out in fear? 

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, 

"Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. 

He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" ~ Mark 4:39-40

Now, the first time I heard this story, I was maybe eight years old in vacation bible school at good old Good Shepherd. The teacher phrased things a little differently. The message I received loud and clear was, 'You have nothing to be afraid of because Jesus is with you.' I remember we used watercolor paints to paint in these little plastic rainbow shaped sun catchers. It stuck with me then. At the time, it meant: 'Okay, when I'm scared in my bed at night, all I have to remember is Jesus is with me. I have nothing to fear if Jesus is with me.' That mentality did chase away many a Boogieman in my childhood. 

Storms are different now. Your storms change over time. As you pass from one phase to the next, the previous storms don't seem so serious. For me, becoming a parent threw myself and my husband into full fledged hurricane season. So many new battles and fears and all on a lot less sleep than we used to get! You ever try reasoning with a wailing five month old who refuses to nap longer than 30 minutes? Doesn't work. 

There were moments when I said, "That's it! I give up! I can't do this!" But every time, He pulled me back again. Sighing, shaking His head and saying, "Oh, you." and loving me nonetheless. Coming to my rescue again and again, even when it seemed like He jumped ship. Even when it looked like I had forsaken Him, he hadn't forsaken me. He would rise, tell the wind to be quiet, be still. I'd settle my hormonal butt down, take a breath and get back on track. 

Prior to parenthood, I didn't put a whole lot of stock in spiritual attack. That was before we were a lot more vulnerable. That was before we had a hell of a lot more to lose. The first year of our little girl's life often felt like a tug-of-war in our home. All too may times, we gave in to frustration, pounded the floor and demanded why God had forsaken us in the storm. He hadn't. He just knew we had to weather it for a while. 

My mother-in-law recently reminded me of the story about Jesus calming the storm. We talked at length about storms, how they impact our lives and how easy it is to forget that Jesus is still in the boat- even when we think he isn't. Faith. We must keep faith. He isn't going to let us drown. Eventually, when the time is right, He will calm the storm. 

What storms have you been facing lately? Has it seemed like you were all alone in the boat? Have the storms seemed too frequent? Too brutal? It's easy to have faith and joy when the sun shines and the waves are cheerful. And I know that not long after I hit 'publish' something new will arise to toss me back into that churning sea of 'Are you kidding me!? Come on already!' I just have to remember that He is still there, in the boat. He is with me. He is with us all. 

St. Paul's Episcopal~ Grace Street in Richmond, Virginia!

The Child of Many Prayers Cannot Be Lost

"The child of many prayers cannot be lost." 

This is a small, yet impactful excerpt from the letter of an officer in the Civil War. His name was Sandie Pendleton and he was a good man. A man of God. Brother, son, friend, staff officer, husband and rising star. Most impressively, the man of God bit. His faith even impressed Stonewall Jackson, a devout Christian. Sandie's daddy was a reverend and if you're up on your Civil War history, you probably know who he was. 

At any rate, the contents of Lt. Colonel Pendleton's letters generally have an effect on me, particularly when he speaks of his relationship with God. And this little line called out to me. 

The child of many prayers cannot be lost. He put it in quotes, though its origin is unknown to me. Perhaps it was from an essay, a sermon, a quote from his father, or even the voice of God Himself, whispering to the young soldier. From whence it came is not so important as the message it bears. 

If we seek regular counsel from the wise and caring individuals in our lives, chances are, we're going to be on pretty firm ground. How much more solid will the rock beneath your feet be, if you are seeking that regular counsel from the Lord? By keeping an open line of communication to God, you're going to have a better footing. The path before you won't be as muddled as it has potential to be. Granted, that is not to say there aren't going to be stumbling blocks. Heck, that's part of His plan too. It doesn't mean you won't weather any storms but keeping that beacon in sight will help you navigate the shoals. 

Frequent prayer just makes you feel better in general. Try it! It's not taxing. In fact, it's therapeutic. Prayer is a beautiful tie to the Lord. It's cleansing and lovely. It will lift you up and help you on your path. 

"The child of many prayers cannot be lost." Let this short message ring in your ears. 

Pray without ceasing. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:17

In The Words of Kelly Clarkson, "Baby Don't Rush..."

Slapdash. 

That's how I'd describe a majority of my crafting endeavors over the course of my life. I never really plotted things out. Always in a hurry- not out of rushing, but out of excitement. Who has time to pay attention to detail when there's such a great product to be had? The end result? Nine times out of ten, something with visibly poor workmanship. 

Anything worth doing, is worth doing right. My grandfather owned a dress company from the 1940's until 1969. I now have a few of the vintage dresses he manufactured. When I look at the seams and stitches I see quality, precision and care. When I look at my early attempts at sewing reproduction Civil War dresses I see shortcuts, uneven lines and a multitude of careless imperfections. 

Do you take the time to iron a straight crease in the fabric before hemming in your personal life? 

When you notice the pieces cut from patterns are not matching up, do you say, "Ah, whatever. Close enough." and barrel on through?

Would you rather stitch quickly or stitch correctly?

When we take the time to ensure care is being given, the end result is usually something that fits. Something that not only looks right, but feels right. Be it a relationship with someone close, your connection to God, a personal goal or your profession- slowing down and doing things right makes all the difference. Communication and thoughtfulness are essential tools to a peaceable living. 

How has the quality of your workmanship been lately?

 Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established. ~Proverbs 16:3

Minding Ps, Qs and Proverbs

Proverbs 4:23-26

When I first came across this scripture, it read like this: 

23 Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life. 24 Don't use your mouth to tell lies; don't ever say things that are not true. 25 Keep your eyes focused on what is right, and look straight ahead to what is good. 26 Be careful what you do, and always do what is right.

I thought, yeah, cool. Right on. Those are words I like to live by! I aught paint that on the wall! Naturally, I did what I generally do when I find a bit of scripture that fits my heart- grabbed my Bible and set to underlining the verses. So, I pop open my handy little NIV travel Bible and flip, flip, flip... where's Proverbs? After Psalms, right? Yeah. Got it. Okay... 4... 23...

"Above all else, guard your heart, 

for everything you do flows from it. 

Keep your mouth free of perversity;

keep corrupt talk far from your lips. 

Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.

Give careful thought to the paths for your feet

and be steadfast in all your ways.

Ah! Perversity!? Corrupt talk?! Aw man, this is pretty heavy. I better check this out in my King James. (Yeah, cuz that'll make it sound less intimidating.)

23. Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. 24. Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee. Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. 

Huh. This whole "perversity" thing really stuck with me. So, I pondered it a bit, then I brought up the verses to my husband. His Biblical prowess is far more refined than mine, and I know I can always default to him and get some really thoughtful feedback. The dear-heart actually Googled the Bible's definition of perversity:

PERVERS'ITY, n: Perverseness, crossness, disposition to thwart or cross.

Well, that was cleared up. It didn't mean being crude. But the heart of the matter remained. These verses were reminding me that I needed to check myself. I always make it a point to tell the truth. Lying doesn't get you anywhere. So I'm all right on that account. Perverse in this sense refers to the above definition and long ago I learned to put down the flaming sword unless absolutely provoked. Froward pertains to willful and headstrong and I'd "like" to think I've toned that down "some". As for keeping a straight path, I always strive to "do the right thing". 

What gnawed at me was this: I was raised by a sailor. I was quoting George Carlin by the age of 10. Given these two facts, you can imagine the vivid mural of positively crass obscenities that have fluttered from my lips. The phrase "gutter mouth" comes to mind. I swear, throw out crude zingers. Upon swift reflection, not exactly a Godly tongue. Although profanity wasn't mentioned here, this was the angle that spoke to me. (It is interesting how three different people can read the same bit of scripture and each cultivates their own take). 

How can I reflect God's light when all too often my choice of words falls short of His glory? It's more than a bad habit. It's part of my identity. Habits, we can break. But banishing a portion of who you are? That's a much taller order. Yes, God loves me. Lock, stock and tongue in cheek. Can't say He loves how I elect to express myself all the time. It's almost as if I can hear Him say, 'I've given you a gift for words... why do you feel the need to use the filthy ones?' 

Ever heard of "Messy Spirituality"? I guess this falls into that category. We don't like to change when we're comfortable. But I know I need to strive to be a better representative and part of that means cleaning up my language. 

What really hits it home? The Lord blessed me with an extremely bright little girl who is just now beginning to utter her first words. I'm glad it was "Quack" and not something that shares 3/5 of those letters.